What to Expect When You Marry Into A Chinese/Italian Family
Wednesday, October 29, 2014 at 01:25PM We are back after a two week hiatus. We did not limit this list to 5. We tried to draw parallels where applicable
CHINESE
1. You will drive an hour or more to go out to eat because there is only one acceptable Chinese restaurant (The only way to spot an "authentic" Chinese restaurant is if there are 80%+ Chinese diners. Live fish tank is a bonus)
2. You will have to endure an 18+ hour plane ride
3. Chinese will be spoken despite pleas of talking in English, especially when they do not want you to know what they are saying
4. They will be racist
5. They will say "yes" or "ok" to any question or statement, does not mean they agree
6. They will talk about you in front of you as if you are not there, especially if it is to call you fat
7. The public will automatically assume that you are not with the Chinese family.
8. In most 'authentic' Chinese restaurants, they may throw a fork at you.
9. Holidays, birthdays, etc. are not a big deal and rarely celebrated.
10. Someone else is always doing it better than you are.
11. Only "hosts" are allowed to pay. However, there will always be a fight, as defining "host" is the hard part.
12. They will butcher the pronunciation of your name. Get used to it.
13. They call everyone 'Aunt' or 'Uncle' but oftentimes have no idea what that person's given name is or whether they are related.
14. Massagers, massage accessories, etc. are everywhere.
ITALIAN
1. Constant attempts to feed you, even if you are not hungry, it is rude to decline - at least have a 'cup of coffee' to fulfill the need.
2. You will have to endure a 3+ hour dinner
3. It will sound like English, but you will still need a translator
4. They will be racist
5. Tradition will be the answer for any questions you may have, because they don't really know
6. They will talk about everyone
7. The Feast of Seven Fishes, aka Christmas Eve. Be prepared for a marathon eating session. PS, pasta is always the appetizer, even on this day.
8. They will call everyday to make sure you are okay, and then think something terrible happened if you don't pick up right away
9. Every holiday, birthday, religious ceremony, etc. is a HUGE event.
10. They know a guy that can fix everything and anything for a cheaper price than you will ever be able to find.
11. You are never allowed to pay for anything, ever. Never try to pick up the check at a restaurant.
12. Everyone has a nickname. Whether or not the nickname makes sense is another story.
13. Fresh basil, tomatoes, garlic, etc. always comes from the garden of a relative or friend.
14. There is no privacy. They will wash your undergarments and possibly buy you new ones for your birthday.
15. Constant attempts to give you something, anything. Giving makes them happy, just accept it.
| 1 | You will drive an hour or more to go out to eat because there is only one acceptable Chinese restaurant (The only way to spot an "authentic" Chinese restaurnat is if there are 80%+ Chinese diners. Live fish tank is a bonus) |
| 2 | You will have to endure an 18+ hour plane ride |
| 3 | Chinese will be spoken despite pleas of talking in English, especially when they do not want you to know what they are saying |
| 4 | They will be rascist |
| 5 | They will say "yes" or "ok" to any question or statement, does not mean they agree |
| 6 | They will talk about you in front of you as if you are not there, especially if it is to call you fat |
| 7 | The public will automatically assume that you are not with the Chinese family. |
| 8 | In most 'authentic' Chinese restaurants, they may throw a fork at you, |
| 9 | Holidays, birthdays, etc. are not a big deal and rarely celebrated. |
| 10 | Someone else is always doing it better than you are. |
| 11 | Only "hosts" are allowed to pay. However, there will always be a fight, as defining "host" is the hard part. |
| 12 | They will butcher the pronunciation of your name. Get used to it. |
| 13 | They call everyone 'Aunt' or 'Uncle' but oftentimes have no idea what that person's given name is or whether they are related. |
| 14 | Massagers, massage accessories, etc. are everywhere. |